Thursday, March 19, 2009
An adopted or foster child will never be accepted as a "real" member of a family?
I have thought of this statement before because two of my close friends are adopted. Although have been born from a different mother than they have now, they are still accepted in their current family. A family simply wouldn't adopt a child one of the most precious gifts in life, then not accept it. For instance, my friend gets the same treatment as as I would. This doesn't show a difference between us, even though I have my real mother and he has a foster parent. Also, another one of my friends tries to call his parents by their first names, because technically they aren't his parents, but as soon as they do he gets yelled at. If he wasn't accepted by his family they wouldn't get mad of this. Another thing is that both of my friends who are adopted treat their cousins and uncles as if they are. For instance, a friend of mine is Asian and his parents are Caucasian, and even when he sees his relatives he treats himself as part of the family, obviously showing that he is accepted in his family.
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7 comments:
I agree with your view on this statement. If a family chooses to adopt a child in the first place, they undoubtably will try heard to integrate the child into their family and make him seem like an important member of the family that is accepted and thought of as their own. I personally do not know that many adopted kids, but I have heard stories. Often times, adopted kids are closer to their "family" than kids living with their birth parents. So therefore, this statement is totally bogus.
Matheww =]
I completely agree with you. Just because your friend does not resemble his parents or relatives, does not mean that he is not a huge part of his family. Even the fact that he is of a different ethnicity than his family doesn't make a difference to me. I know tons of kids who are biologically related to their parents and look absolutely nothing alike. Looking like your family has nothing to do with it. The fact that his family loves him and supports him for the person that he is today is what really counts. Your friend doesn't have to "act" like his cousins and uncles are his relatives because they absolutely, 100% are his real family
I agree, adopted child should be (and usually are) treated as a normal member of the family. If you are not going to treat someone as such, you have no business adopting them. I too have close friends that were adopted. And their families treat them as biological children. You wouldn't even know they were adopted if no one told you.
I like how you mentioned that your friend still feels like part of the family, even when he sees that they are different races. It is important that people do not care about race because doing so pushes us further and further away from racial discrimination.
Dear Margy,
I find it ridiculous how people could even think that just because a child is adopted or fostered, he is not accepted as a true member of a family. I agree that a family shouldn't and wouldn't adopt or foster a child if they did not have the intentions of loving and caring for them as a "real" member of the family. You blogged that you had two friends that were adopted and I thought I'd share with you that I also have a close friend who was adopted. I have been friends with him for a while now and I have never once had the impression that he was not a true member of his family. My friend is also of a different ethnicity than his parents and I agree that the difference in race plays absolutely no role when it comes to family. I mean technically...we're all one big family because we all came from Africa aren't we?
Matt- I did the same question as you and had the same feelings. I think it would be terrible if people adopted you and took you in but then didn't show love or care for you. I am glad your friend feels a part of his family as so does mine.
Most people have been choosing this topic to write about, but it does not get old. It's a really important topic that deals with an important problem. Some adopted kids feel like they have no home and no family to come home to. This is because their adopted family does not treat them as if they are in the family tree. I like how you gave the example of different nationalities adopting different nationalities. This may be because of racism or a sense of pity, but if you are not ready to handle the responsibility of having a child, or not actually wanting a child, then you should not adopt a child in the first place.
I agree one hundred percent! When a child is adopted they are adopted in an attempt to make them one of the family. Of course they would be treated by their foster parents just as a biological child would be treated. I know someone who was adopted too and he is treated just the same as I am. He has other brothers and sisters who were adopted too and they are all treated so equally and just like any other family that at first I never even knew he was adopted. I believe that in the majority of families with adopted children, the kids are treated just like anyone else because if the parents did not want it to be that way, why would they have been adopted in the first place?
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